There are ways of reducing risk without condoms.

While the condom remains the "gold standard" for HIV prevention, there are other ways to reduce the risk.

An example we've heard is like riding a motorcycle. Riding on a well maintained motorcycle with a good helmet and proper protective gear (leather jacket, sturdy pants and boots) is a pretty save way to travel. Riding a motorcycle with it's front wheel wobbling and out of alignment, bad brakes, in shorts and a t-shirt, no helmet and at high speed is asking for trouble. You might be able to ride many times like that and get away with it, but the odds are much greater that you're going to get hurt if something goes wrong.

Same thing with HIV prevention. Condoms are the best. Keeping your viral load down (i.e., being on meds and taking them every time your supposed to) may help. Using lots of lube and taking things slowly. Staying sober. Pulling out early. Going oral rather than anal. Knowing the HIV status of your partner. All are things that will help reduce the risk of transmission.

Can you guarantee that you'll never catch HIV? No. Same as riding a motorcycle. But with a little work, you can greatly reduce the risk and still enjoy life.