We all know that the current HIV prevention strategy is falling short. The "just say no" (abstinence) and "condom every time" messages are not working. People are still testing HIV positive every day.

Here are three questions we'd like to see asked at HIV prevention seminars and classes...

Most people are going to answer that they will be loving and understanding and caring, etc. Some might be honest about how they would feel, but most people think they would be a pillar of strength and understanding. No one wants to admit that they would be a jerk about it.

Now we learn how people really react. People won't talk about themselves, but "they have a friend who...".

The sad truth is that most people have never thought about how they would react when confronted with an HIV+ person. The immediate reaction is usually one of fear. I didn't know you were positive. There where no hints. OMG, you could die! I could die!

At this point a panic reaction usually sets in. If it's been a romantic encounter, the lights come on and the person quickly heads for the exits. If it's family or friends, it's usually a question something on the order of "when are you going to die?" or "can you pass it on to us?" or "what were you thinking, you slut?".

This conversation can go one for a little while.

Telling someone you are HIV+ is one of the hardest things you can do. Mostly because of the reactions we just talked about.

Getting people to think ahead of time about how they really feel about HIV and how to deal with the fear and panic (get educated!) would go a long way towards lowering the the number of new infections.

Follow this with some frank talk about how to support and talk with people who are HIV+, honest information on how you can and can't catch HIV (including the odds), ways of lessening the risk, and what really happens if you test HIV+ would go a long way towards lowering the fear level and hopeful starting a conversation.

Originally (pre-1996), people didn't get tested because there wasn't much that could be done about it. Why know about something that you can't stop and is going to happen anyway? Today people don't get tested because they are afraid. Afraid that it's a still death sentence, afraid of how everyone will react when they find out they're HIV+, afraid that no one will love them or be able to love them.

It's the conundrum of current HIV prevention education. Catching HIV is terrible! Your life will be over! Then we wonder why people don't want to get tested ... why people don't want to talk about it or learn about it ... why people don't want to date an HIV+ person.

Getting people to think in terms of people, giving them honest information, and providing them resources where they can learn more would go a long way to making things better for everyone.